My mother was a career woman always busy with work. She always moving, always doing many things at the same time, over committed, working until exhaustion until she just collapsed in the bed and then asked us children to lie beside her as she slept. I am very much like her, the joke of the gods/goddesses, is turning us into what we didn't want to be and hated as children.
When Amma was mentioned in the lecture I began to understand Bhuvaneshwari in a much fuller and more positive way. I have seen Amma and felt her embrace. I write about my experience being hugged by Amma is 2013 on my blog if anyone wants to look at it.
Spaciousness is something I need. I pack up everyday with a million activities as if I am afraid of the breath, afraid to take a pause (just like my mother). What scares me about expansiveness and spaciousness I am not sure. I just know it is hard for me. I often laugh at myself calling myself a "Bisy Backson" as so wonderfully described in the Tao of Pooh coming from a note that really meant to say but was misspelled "Busy Back Soon"
Yesterday I was very angry from a week of work with people I have been finding quite difficult. I knew I needed to do some yoga but I wasn't sure what or where.
But this 4pm Iyengar class was really great. We started hanging upside down on the rope wall for ten minutes and I felt like my vertebrae were getting more room and my neck was elongating.
I am interested in the idea of Shoonya not being the same as Spaciousness
I can never quite understand what Shoonya is. Although Swami Satyananda talks of it in the blue book on Yoga Nidra and most Buddhist texts talk about. Maybe I can't grasp it because I haven't experienced it. Spaciousness I have felt, experienced, tasted. I think it is something that usual comes for me in Savanasa, or looking at the moon, although yesterday I touched it hanging on the rope wall.
And I do want to make more room!