Discover Your Boundaries

Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others. – Brene Brown

Ansel Adams

Once in a intuitive reading I was told that I was Personality Type Number 9.

 Type 9 is called the Peacemaker but what was more interesting to me was that number 9s meld  very easily. 9s have a rather diffuse sense of their own identities. They often merge with their loved ones and through a process of identification take on the characteristics of those closest to them. Or in simple speech, we don’t have good boundaries.

What exactly is boundary?  One definition is a boundary is a limit or space between you another person; a clear place where you begin and the other person ends.  It is like a wall around a castle with one entry and you are the gatekeeper.  As the gatekeeper, you decide who you let in and who goes out.

Ansel Adams

We need to set boundaries in order to protect ourselves. Creating healthy boundaries does not always come naturally. As children, boundaries were put on us and we watched and learned as other people in our lives created boundaries. If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, you may have not learned about setting healthy boundaries.

Ansel Adams

Learning to set our own healthy boundaries means getting to know ourselves, deciding what and who is important, who and what we want in our lives, and acting on these decisions. It may mean letting go of the unhealthy people in our lives so that we can grow into the healthy person that we want to become.

Ansel Adams

The decision to set healthy boundaries can be seen as an empowerment exercise in the journey towards self-realization.   When we create boundaries, we are taking a stand for ourselves, and declaring we are worthy of all the good things life has to offer.

Ansel Adams

Excavation Questions for Setting Boundaries: 
Write five boundaries for yourself. Begin with five of your most painful behaviors. You can always add more later.

Ansel Adams