Bagalamukhi - The Power of Silence.

Bagalamukhi is the "Great Paralyzer" and asks where are we hiding from ourselves and where are we deceiving ourselves?

 I really need to look at that.  I think sometimes I use words and language to hide, over-analyzing and over-intellectualizing when I should just trust my instincts and intuition.

I was also very interested in speech pairing with silence and the power of silence, which I often have a hard time being quiet. I listen to myself talking sometimes and I think what am I talking about and why am I talking?

Sometimes I hear the way I am taking about myself (as if it weren't even me doing it) and I hear how cruel and negative it is.

I say things about myself that I wouldn't say to my worst enemy.  These are all things I need to work on.  I very much want to do a long silent retreat somewhere and it is a top priority for me but I haven't realized it yet.  I think being in silence for a extended period of time could be very profound for me.

I also am very interested in the concepts of being both detached and engaged. Hmmmmmmmmm... how do you do that??? I think this pairs well with stilling the mind and cultivating attention.

Bagalamukhi is a bird goddess associated with the crane. I am really curious about Bird Goddesses in history and the various incarnations.  I have been writing a story for a long time where one of the characters shifts between woman and eagle.  Are there any goddesses like this in the Hindu cannon? My character's bird nature makes her very free and independent.

We honor  Bagalamukhi with hatha yoga postures by doing longer holds.  When I practice and teach yin yoga I observe a real power and release in long mindful holds. I love vinyasa too but it seems to tap into a different kind of energy. More exploration of pranayama is also one of my goals.

I am also interested in using the estoric tools to know myself better. Sometimes even when I pick a goddess card at a gathering it seems to say exactly what I need to hear.I picked the card Eireen on Saturday at a New Moon Goddess women's circle - the card said "Peace - there is no need to worry, as everything is working out beautifully."

And I have had a lot of worries lately and the card made my feel more at ease.

In sum,  Bagalamukhi reminds me of the me I want to be by practicing pranayama, hatha yoga, silence, meditation, right speech and right action.  I love that she inspires me to do this with out giving up my femininity, sexuality or fun. One of her names was lover of wine another was she who laughs.

 I have been studying Buddhism with Chris Chapple for about 13 months now and what repels me is all the restrictions.  The whole thing just seems like no fun.  It is nice to have a completely different spiritual alternative that embraces sexuality, laughter and joy.