Processing Emotions: Disappointment and Frustration

I did these pieces in Swami Sivasankariananda's Processing Emotions Class at the Sivananda Los Angeles City Center.

This is about the disappointment and frustration of turning 50 although with the racism that is so visible in the world right now.

This is a closeup of the O and how I feel so frustrated and claustrophobic being locked in.

Swamiji thought it was really important that I transform it

This is me thinking of the positive aspects of all the things I have been doing and making and the peace I feel by not being in the chaos of working in film production and having time for my foot and ankle to heal.  Also how the world is healing with less pollution.

This circle shows how I am in community with my husband and not alone.  And how I have had time to work on my project about the moon.

Ganesha Yantra

I started this Ganesha Yantra with Swami Sivasankarianda through Sivananda Los Angeles City Center but had to finish on my own.

I found the colors in Harish Johari's book "Tools for Tantra"

 Started drinking tea and painting trying not to dip my brushes in the tea cup.

I was painting with acrylics that aren't as precise as gouache.  It turned out well.  I am happy to see it completed. I felt uneasy having the lord of overcoming obstacles unfinished in my office.

Processing Emotions: Longing and Disappointment

This painting is about longing and disappointment.  It's about looking for the answers outside of yourself and not being satisfied.  Not seeing your own beauty and truth.  It's not done yet.

I did it in Swami Sivansakariananda's afternoon workshop at the Sivananda Los Angeles City Center's on Processing Emotions

Processing Emotions: Fear

Swami Sivasankariananda at Sivananda City Center has been leading workshops on Processing Emotions.  I took this workshop recently on Processing Fear


This is the first step of the exercise.  I see myself as thickening with age, old and gray.  My breasts are heavy and my hips are big. I just turned 50 and someone told me "Welcome to Cronedom" and I didn
t know how I felt about that.  My right bottom foot and ankle and red from the pain of the tears in my plantar fascia and peroneus brevis.

Then I was asked to transform the painting.   I decided that I didn't matter about the ankle I have worked through so many injuries.  I wanted to make this painting more beautiful and I brought the masculine energy of the sun to my feminine side and the feminine energy of the moon to my masculine side.  Making myself a beautiful integrated whole.