I have been thinking about Lakshmi a lot this week after I watched and listened to Laura Amazzone's lecture. Would Lakshmi approve of my dirty car, my disorganized house, the extra weight around my middle, the whiskers that seem to always be growing above my upper lip, and my boyish dress at 43? Probably not! She might tell me to wear something more feminine, take better care of myself, get a lip and brow wax, put some makeup on you’re in your 40s now, and for goddess sake go on a diet
On a visceral level, I am not attracted to Lakshmi the way I am to Saraswati. But if I am honest with myself I realize my life is ruled by Lakshmi. The Lakshmi in me wants me to be materially successful, look pretty and be organized and while my inner Saraswati is begging me to do my art and not worry so much about the material. Lakshmi keeps me at work late following through on every detail when Saraswati wants me to go home and paint or read a book. Right now they are struggling for power over me, they both want to be the boss. Lakshmi has been winning most of my adult life as I stay in a career where I am financial successful but my spirit is unfed. With the help of the lecture I realize they don’t have to fight against each other I can unite them and be more powerful and at ease from the unification.
I know Sri, as Ceres, or Demeter. When I was in Sicily in 2007 I saw thousands of statues of Ceres with a cornucopia/bowl or her head. I had never seen her like this before, all the other depictions of Ceres I had seen she wore a veil like an old matriarch. I could have cared less about old bag Ceres until she got that bowl on her head and once she had that headdress on I felt connected to her. She now was connected to all the women I have seen in the world carrying items on their head. She was mother earth not the bitter woman I remembered from school who went crazy when Hades took her daughter.
I am very attracted to the pictures of the Yakshinis in the lecture. So beautiful! They remind me of the depictions of Daphne in Greek mythology. For me, Daphne is a real heroine. She transformed into a tree to avoid being raped by Apollo. I am very intrigued by these tree women.
Lastly, I was scolded last week for putting a book on the pristinely clean floor when I was taking a meditation class. When in Laura’s lecture she talked about how ground has become thought of as dirty instead of spiritual as we move away from the sacred feminine to the masculine I thought yes...here it is again.
|Daphne and Apollo|
|Ceres in Sicily with Cornucopia on her head|