Monday, October 12, 2015

Discover Your Limitations

“I admire how she protects her energy and understands her limitations.” 
~ Terry Tempest Williams, Refuge: An Unnatural History of Family and Place

All Artwork is by Kathe Kollwitz

Since I came back from Europe this summer, my body has been very different. I attribute the change  to the nine days I spent sick in bed with a bladder infection that I thought was heat exhaustion. During my illness, I went from being freezing cold with uncontrollable chills to being excruciatingly hot with fever and sweats so intense that my sheets would be soaked.  In a strange bed in an unfamiliar country, I felt alone, helpless, exhausted and scared.

Now back in Los Angeles, in my yoga practice I am less flexible and not as strong. My ego is distressed because it wants to always improve, go forward.  But my body is not willing.  Many yoga poses that came easy to me before my trip I can no longer perform.

Holding standing postures like warrior two is not something I can not do in the same way as I did before. My balance is off in tree pose and warrior three.  I am weak in plank and sun salutations.

I have lost a lot of flexibility in my hamstrings and hips. I realize I have to start again building my strength, flexibility and balance. I have to accept where I am now, not where I was or where I think I should be. This is humbling. This is frustrating. I took so much pleasure my progress and now I am not there anymore.

In my frustration, I keep coming back to why I began yoga: to heal pain, to de-stress, to feel relaxed, to be healthy. . .  All those things are still there.  I just have to honor my body and my limitations and be in the present moment: not the past - how I use to do the pose, or the future: how I want to do the pose, but where my body is right now.  I need to find out where my limitations are and honor the edge, and remember that everyday and every moment our limitations change.

Excavation Question for Discovering your Limitation:

Explore through Journaling, Art or music what are your limitations.  You can also explore why you meditate and/or practice yoga.

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