Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Reflect on the chakra you feel least aware of in your being

My first chakra is always talking to me with knee problems and foot pain.  I am extremely emotional and creative which I place in my 2nd chakra.  I am in love with love in my 4th and my shoulders always hurt and my chest in collapsing in.  I talk to much in my 5th.  I think about my 6th and 7th a lot with yoga, meditation and yoga nidra, but I forget about my 3rd.

I have chosen my 3rd chakra to explore today as the one I am least aware of using Anodea Judith's Book, Eastern Body, Western Mind.In Yoga I will push myself in about anything except my core and my arms.  My core is the weakest part of my body.  So

According to Andoea Judith"the third chakra is located in the softest part of the torso (yes mine is too soft)...The chakra is not full enough to support the upper body.  ,,,It is helpful when developping the will to do exercises such as sit-ups that strengthen the stomach muscles and support this vulnerable part of the torso."  (I know, I know, some day)

- Energy
- Activity
- Autonomy
- Individuation
- Will
- Self-Esteem
- Shame
- Proactivity
- Power

I often notice the more stressed I get at work the more I lose my personality.  People who don't know my don't even know I am funny or can be fun.  I come off as very rigid. But that is not how I see myself or those who know me in other contexts see me.

....We lose our spontaneity and playfulness.  Unable to trust our own basic impulses and needing to constantly monitor what comes from within, the personality becomes divided against itself.  It takes energy to maintain this division, a loss that robs us of our basic vitality and wholeness." p.173

"Without autonomy, we cannot get to the heart, for our love comes from need rather than strength..." This rings very true to me in my love relationships.

",,,overcoming unconscious habits that allow us to be defined by others."p.173

I have never felt good enough.  I think I never have recovered from being thrown out of the house at 16 because I wanted to be an artist.

"It is about daring to be unique, risking disapproval for the integrity of your own truth." p.173

I feel like I did that and it turned out badly and lately I have been afraid to take big risks.


"We are trained to be obedient" p. 179

I wasn't very obedient as a child and I was spanked and beaten a lot.  My father would tell me that this hurts him more than it hurts me.  (I didn't believe him because it hurt a lot). He told me he was trying to get my attention (I always thought this was a pretty stupid way to get my attention)

"Punishment is used by authority for controlling behavior and robbing us of our free will."

"Punishment can shame or control, deprive or invade.  It can physical or emotional, literal or symbolic." p.194

We can respond to punishment by: complying, rebelling, withdrawing or manipulating.

As a teen I rebelled and withdrawing with drugs. As adult I am withdrawing by numbing myself and manipulating.


My self-esteem is so low although I know it shouldn't be.  I have had a lot of accomplishments.

"In the many years of my practice.  I have seldom found much correlation between high seld-esteem and accomplishment." p. 180 (Thank god it's not just me,

I don't think this is one of my problems

"We have power when we dare to live authentically, when we reach inside ourselves and tell the naked truth."  (I am not there yet.  Still a lot of lies.)


"Shame creates a block between the mind and the body that splits one off from the core self."

I was ashamed of being black, mixed, Jewish,  big footed, knock kneed, not fast enough swimmer, so many things''

"We are held in our places within a culture where the personal loss of power is so epidemic that no one hears the cries of loss and outrage." p.190

My father liked to embarrass me in public.

"Shame collapses the third chakra and as a result the whole torso collapses at the middle."

The pain, confusion and shame of being raped at 16 was one of the most crushing things that has happened in my life.  I handled it all by myself.  I told no one.   What a weight to carry for such a young girl, me!'
And thus maybe I am also the ENDURER


"To heal, The Endurer needs to express both the angry and the tender feelings."

I need to overcome these feelings of "helplessness, abandonment, neglect and abuse."


This was definitely me.  Cooking dinner for my brother and father when my mom was working late.

"Sometimes the situation within a family requires that the child grow up too quickly and take on responsibilities that are beyond the maturity of her age." p. 195


Human Ding - bolstering the ego with accomplishments, engagements, and busy-ness (This is me)

"Such a person will be in constant motion, excitation, and stress that goes with it..."

"Balance between listening to the body's messages and channeling those impulses into productive acivity is the integration we seek."

"..excessive thircd chakras need to relax, sit still and let go of control." p.216


The one a relate to is feeling victimized and depression


"The first thing i tell my clients or group members when they wish to develop their third chakra is to give up the attachment to being safe.  This involves giving up wanting everything assured ahead of time and accepting that there might be criticism, challenge, misunderstanding, rejection, or a possibility of failure...,We need to face the fact that the world is not safe" p.216

- 3rd chakra anger is an assertive fiery anger which is me
Blocked anger is often a factor in weight gain.  I struggle with my weight.

"I have found that releasing blocked anger often improves metabolism and helps stabilize weight problems, sometimes with little or no change in diet." p.217

- Need to build ego strength to work on 3rd chakra
- Develop contact with authentic self
- Raise self-esteem by attacking shame demons
- Vitality
- Ability to laugh at one's self

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